I really am not trying to be critical nor play a blame game. But Ive realized we have to look past ourselves sometimes. The enemy of our soul wants us to be consumed with ourselves and what we have and what we dont have. They’re just distactions. BTW since you have been a Christian for so long, have you ever been called into ministry? Sometimes when things aren’t lining up, its because there was something God told us to do, that we didnt..

Your situation sounds similar to how mine was about 5 years ago. Both my wife and I were working full time but still could not seem to make ends meet. We had 2 kids at the time and had a 3rd on the way. The house we had at the time wasn’t big enough for the 4 of us let alone another baby. I was volunteering at the church all the time and was hardly at home. I then had a business transaction go bad with a good friend and ended up losing his friendship over it.

It was at that time I took a step back because I knew that things were not working the way they should. I knew enough of the Bible to know that it wasn’t God who was putting me through all of this negative stuff so it had to be me. I then tried to figure out where the disconnection was between the way that God wanted things to me for me (good) and the way things actually were (not so good).

The conclusion was that I had my priorities out of order. God had blessed me with a family but I was not spending any time with them. If I wasn’t at work then I was at church doing something. My priorities where all out of whack.

When I lost my friend over the bad business transaction I took it as a sign that I could lose my wife next unless I changed something. Nothing was worth losing her. I ended up setting my priorities in the following order:

1.) God – direct relationship, one on one
2.) Self – Health, well being
3.) Wife
4.) Kids
5.) Job – Falls into caring for wife and children
6.) Church Attendance – Also falls into caring for wife and children
7.) Ministry – Volunteering

Once I did this and started to act on it that is when I started to see things change. We ended up moving to Texas and my wife hasn’t worked since and we have been financially alright.

Now I know your situation is a little different but I believe that principles are the same. I was really an unhappy person when my focus was on making money and having status in ministry. Once that changed to being the best husband and parent I could be then I became a happier person. The material things did not matter as much.

In your situation maybe you have family that you can spend more time with. Maybe you downscale where you live or move somewhere else completely. If you are truly intent on wanting to see things different in your life then you need to be willing to go anywhere and do anything.

Moving half way across the country to Texas was a big deal for me since I had never lived outside of Southern California. I needed the new environment though as it gave me a fresh perspective and hope for the future.

The other thing that I noticed is that when I made this change I got a whole lot closer to God and I started to see Him work in my life a whole lot more. I think I was more open to Him and gave Him more opportunity to do things for me.

I think the biggest thing that I learned out of all of this is that God is more interested in family and relationships then He is in money and status. It now seems the less I focus on money the more of it I have. When I get worried or consumed with it the less I have. It is weird how that works.

I hope the above helps. The important thing is to not give up and realize that God will never give up on you either. Change is possible.