Note: I had a revelation half way through this post that actually changes the direction that I was going with it. I decided to leave the first part because I want to demonstrate how effective it can be to blog – it can really help you sort your thoughts and feelings out. Enjoy!
As you can tell this blog has not been very active. The main reason for this was not procrastination but fear.
See I have not been active in church for quite some time. In fact I probably only been to church about 10 times in last year.
I know the first thing that you think – Oh he is backsliden.
Am I? What exactly is that?
To me backsliden is when you turn your back on God. I have not done this.
If anything I have turned my back on the church. Why? Because I got caught up. I took anything and everything that was spoon fed to me. I got to a point that the church was more important then my family.
I was fortunate though, God woke me up to that fact before it was to late. My finances were already affected but not my relationships – yet. If I would have continued down that road I do not think things would have been good.
So back to the fear thing.
What was I afraid of? God? No.
It was the church that I was afraid of. That fear is what causes me to explain why I am not backsliden to people when I tell them that I am not actively going to church.
See unfortunately a lot Christians have a difficult time making a distinction between having a relationship with God and going to church. In fact the majority of Christian’s relationships with God are at church and church alone.
Now before I go further I want to clarify which Christians I am talking about. I am not talking about new Christians. It is obvious that newer Christians are going to get the majority of info about God and Jesus from church because they are not as familiar or comfortable with getting it on their own. Sidebar ended.
In the last year I have seen God move on my behalf more then the previous 8 years of being a Christian. I went from not having a steady job and severally in debt to having a good job, a new house that is paid for, and zero debt. I give God the credit for this but it took me lining up with His priorities for these things to come to pass.
The way that I lined up with His priorities was to make what he considers important, important to me. The main area that was relevant to me was putting my family before church. Now before you get all freaked out, I said church, not God.
I know some of you cannot make the distinction between the two and you want to shout at me Hebrews 10:25-26 -
24 And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, 25 not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.
I am down with that. I am not going to argue. But…
It is wrong when we put the church in the place of God.
I believe that these are the priorities when it comes to God (scripture to come) -
- God – direct relationship, one on one
- Self – Health, well being
- Wife
- Kids
- Job – Falls into caring for wife and children
- Church Attendance – Also falls into caring for wife and children
- Ministry – Volunteering
Stop. No really – Stop – time for honesty.
I just realized in writing the above that I have been wrong in my approach to “church”. I just realized that I associated “Church Attendance” with “Ministry” and therefore that is why I haven’t been to church in the last year. I am not going to beat around the bush – this is wrong.
I was about to go into a long spiel about God taking Paul off on his own for several years away from “church”. But that is not what God was taking him from, it was away from ministry. That is what he wanted him separated from (for a season/preparation).
See ministry can be a tricky thing because it is very easy to get into the Mary/Martha thing. I realize now that I was in that – a lot.
We have to be careful that we understand what God’s priorities are and make sure that they are the priorities that we have. The reason for this is that God knows what is the best for our life. He knows what is going to be the best for our family and what is going to make us happy. If you cooperate with him – do things His way – we will have the best that life has to offer.
I believe that I am beginning to understand this know and apply it to my own life. Hopefully you are either already doing this or see areas that you can improve.
3 Comments
I can understand where you feel that church may not be necessary on a weekly basis if you still have a close relationship with God. However, I don’t believe you should prioritize yourself as second behind God. Your spouse and child should come before you as a Christian. Would you not lay down your life for them as Christ did for you if it was necessary? I would also encourage you to seek out a better church, one where you feel good about attending weekly and develop better relationships in Christ. Especially to set a good example for your children.
I guess it might be a good idea for you to read some scripture and find out a little bit more about THE CHURCH. The church is designed by God for the purpose of building up believers and training them for His purpose and His glory. Take some time to read Ephesians 4. Also, it might behoove you to take note that much of our New Testament was written to CHURCHES! You are trying to sound wise but in reality to are demonstrating that you are pretty self-centered. It is too bad that you cant even honor God by participating in the building up of HIS CHURCH.
@tozer5000
Let me start by saying thank you for leaving your comment. By doing so you demonstrated the reason why most people do not attend church. Being judgmental in regard to my weakness and/or lack of understand in regard to God and/or the church demonstrates that you are the very thing that you accused me of – being self centered. You are so high and mighty that anyone who does not walk their Christian life in the same manner as you should be condemned.
Sad
See the purpose of this post was to open up about a struggle that I was having. I know I take the risk of people like you coming and tearing me down instead of loving and lifting me up but that is the chance I take. The idea behind this blog and this post is to share with people my experience and struggles so that others out there can see and know that they are not alone.
As you may have noticed this post was written 3 years ago. In the last 3 years I have returned to regular attendance at my church and have become involved. This was only after the healing of my family was complete (because of my neglect of them). I believe that was God’s way of doing things because I have seen the fruit of it – good relationships with God, my wife, and my kids. Now I am developing good relationships with those at my church.
I know from your post that you have never been in my situation. You have never seen a Pastor put the church first and have his family walk away from him and God because of it. You have not lost a close friend because of your diehard attitude toward church. I am happy that you have never seen what I have seen and experienced and I pray that you never do.
Be careful though.
The Bible says that whatever a man sows he will also reap. Be careful about quickly judging others because according to God’s word you will be judged the same.
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